There are many causes of behavioral problems and psychological disorders in our children, some of which afflict them throughout their lives – such as introversion, aggression and lying. Some of the following causes are fundamental to most problems:
• Bad role models
A child may fall into the habit of lying if he finds one of the adults telling him to do it or to do it to anyone. A child can learn to cheat and steal by giving his mother the remaining sum after buying bread, for example, and when she finds another pound or roll, she does not refuse the child’s behavior and do not order him to return it to the family. seller.
What does a smoker expect of his child when he grows up? How could he order him not to smoke if he has been smoking in front of him for many years? Thus, a bad example is among the main causes of psychological and behavioral problems that our children suffer.
• Contempt and humiliation
Beating a child with a shoe, kicking him, slapping him in the face, mistreating him with the wildest words, criticizing him or humiliating him, lead to the same result: behavior problems and psychological problems. It will become easy for the child to lie, steal, transgress against others, mistreat, curse and take away what he is suffering from his parents on other children. Humiliation also includes exaggerated reproaches and reproaches, as well as the misuse of the reward and punishment method: all of which leads to most behavioral problems.
• Family problems
What should we expect from children whose fathers and mothers argue day and night and probably for the most trivial reasons? Instead of understanding each other and making arrangements to raise their children, they exchange abuses, insults and accusations. In addition, the father can hit, chase or divorce the mother. All this will lead to a psychological and behavioral distortion of the character of the child, especially if the child loses the sense of security that his peers, who have happy parents and quiet homes, benefit from. This loss allows the child to steal, lie and act aggressively. A child who lives with conflicting parents feels inferior, resentful, and hates others.
• Excessive cruelty
Some fathers and teachers have the misconception that they will only be respected if they severely hit the child, or if they appear severe, gloomy, look and frown all the time. A father may have the impression of not inspiring fear and obedience at home if he does not slap his children hard on their soft cheeks, even for the most insignificant errors, and does not fight against the maintenance of forbearance absolute to kiss and kiss them. He does so on the pretext that it might reduce his fear in front of his children. However, it reminds us of the man who saw the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) embracing Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn, may Allah be pleased with them, said he , “‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.’ On that the Messenger of Allah replied decisively to this cruelty: ‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’” This excessive cruelty to children leads in the future to many behavioral and psychological disorders. Enuresis (involuntary urination), fear, introversion, lies and other problems are mainly caused by cruelty.
• Spoiling children
Spoiled children are those whose parents are too protective, keep them close, put them in an environment that looks like an incubator and never leave them. On the contrary, they bring them whatever they want or ask for, and these children turn into deformed, undecided characters who are afraid of everything around them, in addition to being excessively shy, lying and to feed a feeling of inferiority. The failure of the spoiled child to assume no responsibility (since all his demands are met); submit his parents (who, in turn, submit to him); his sense of pride and arrogance, as evidenced by his repetition of the phrase “My parents never say no to me”; his rebellion against the authority of his parents and his lack of respect for them or his refusal to obey their orders: all transform the spoiled child into a person incapable of social adaptation, since he is still waiting for his friends and of his fellows that they conform to his arrogance and demands. That’s why he’s always alone without friends.
The direct and exaggerated observation of the child by the parents and caretakers deprives him of a sense of security and independence, gives him a false sense of inferiority and can sometimes force him to lie. A child should be observed, but indirectly and moderately, without interference in everything the child says and does. Excessive domineering parents and guardians may ask the child, “Why are you looking out the window, what are you doing in the kitchen, why are you wearing this shirt?” And other similar questions that only indicate the clear dominance of these parents and guardians of children because their children do not need them, and its contribution to the education process is negative.
Dear parents and caretakers, let’s look at the real causes of these problems, knowing that almost no houses are released and have a negative impact on the education process.