Islamic Manners

Etiquettes of dialogue and speech -II

Have sincerity: Some people speak in order to display their knowledge of a certain subject, or to show their eloquence. Others hate anyone except themselves speaking in a rally. Such insincerity obviously does not mean teaching those who have only a rudimentary understanding of Islam or banning good and forbidding evil.

· Use understandable words: do not use incomprehensible words or sentences, or use difficult language. It must adopt simple language and terminology, even when it covers certain specialties or areas of knowledge. This is for the common people to understand. ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahuah alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention), said, “Speak to people with a language they can understand. . Do you want people to believe in Allah and His Messenger? “[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
Speak slowly: the purpose of speaking to people is to convey certain points or ideas. Therefore, one must speak slowly enough to be able to grasp and understand what is being transmitted. Once, when Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her prayer, she heard a man hastily recount a statement from the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention). After which, she, may Allah be pleased with her, remarked, “If I had finished (praying) before leaving, I would have reprimanded him for his haste. The Prophet Sallallahuah’Alayhi wa Sallam (may Allah extol his mention) would never speak quickly when addressing people. He spoke slowly and in a way that allowed all listeners to understand what he was saying. “[End quote]
· Repeat important statements: some words or phrases may be difficult to understand or understand at first glance; it is therefore recommended to repeat them to facilitate understanding. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Whenever the Prophet sallallahuah’alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) said something, he repeated his words three times, so that the meaning is perfectly understood “Bukhari & Muslim]` Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “The speech of the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu` alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) was so clear that all those who listened to him would easily understand it. “
[Abu Daawood] The goal of repeating his words is to make sure people understand the words; However, if this goal is achieved for the first time, repetition is no longer necessary. The maximum number of repetitions should be three because it would become monotonous if it exceeded this number.

· Face the speaker: Facing the speaker reflects listening to his words. A related problem is that the Imam who raises ranks before beginning the prayer must do so while facing the congregation, in accordance with the practice of the Prophet sallallahuahu alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) and not having the back for them.

· Obscene words: “Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said:” The Messenger of Allah, sallallahuah alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) has never uttered rude words, he did not like to listen to him either. “[Al-Bukhari and Muslim] If a deplorable word was used in his presence, he sallallahuahayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) would turn his face to reflect his objection to him. Abu Saeed Al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahuahayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) was even shyer than a virgin behind his veil. Whenever he saw something he did not like, it could be seen on his face. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Enabling Seniors to Start: When people come together for a meeting, seniors in the meeting need to be given priority, if they have the right knowledge, to talk to people. Respect for the old is one of the basic customs that Islam has prescribed. Sahl Ibn Abu Hathma Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Abdullah Ibn Sahl and Muhaysah Ibn Mas`ood, may Allah be pleased with them, went to Khaybar during the period of truce (after his conquest). They then separated to complete their tasks. When Muhaysah, may Allah be pleased with him, return to Abdullah Ibn Sahl, he finds him murdered and soaked in his blood. So he buried him and returned to Al-Madeenah. Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn Sahl, accompanied by Huwayyisah and Muhaysah, who were the two sons of Mas`ood, went to the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (may Allaah exalt his mention) and the informed about the case of their friend (murdered). ‘Abdur-Rahmaan, who was the youngest among them, initiated and began to speak, but the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu` alayhi wa sallam interrupted him and said: “Let the older ones talk to you first.” He stopped talking and the eldest talked about the case “[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
· Give the floor to the most sophisticated: if a gathering is called to comment on a case, then the most knowledgeable person should be invited to address the problem, because he would be the most able to convince others, based on the knowledge of Allah blessed him. An example of this is when Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, had the priority to speak in the presence of ‘Umar and Abu’ Ubaydah, may Allah be pleased with them, regarding the choice of a caliph after the death of the Prophet Sallallahuah’Alayhi wa Sallam (may Allah extol his mention).

· Make an introduction before the main point: This is especially important when talking to a scholar or other knowledgeable person.


Do not interrupt the speaker: if a person comes into the presence of people while they speak, they should not interrupt them. Once, Ibn Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, counseled a group of men who taught others; He said, “Speak to people once or twice every Friday, and at most you should talk to them three times a week … If you happen to arrive while people are talking, do not interrupt their speech. When they allow you to speak, address them.

· Beginning to greet people before addressing them: The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) said:” If a person starts talking to you before greeting you, do not answer him before to greet you. Abu Nu’aym]
Refrain from lying, even joking: It is forbidden to lie, even jokingly: The Prophet sallallahuahu alayhi wa sallam (may Allah extol his mention) said, “Woe to him who speaks to people and who lies to make them laugh! Woe to him! Woe to him! [Abu Daawood & Ahmad]
· Avoid talking to someone other than a third person: Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahuahu’alayhi wa sallam (may Allah exalt him) If three people are present, two of them should not hold a secret council to the exclusion of the third, until others go to the rally, lest it be sad (ie the third person). “[Al-Bukhari & Muslim] the third person may think that she is being discussed or conspired against her.Two people speaking privately in a group of more than three people are not covered by this prohibition, the prohibition factor no longer applies, but if there are ten persons in the assembly and nine of them speak secretly of the exclusion of the tenth, then the prohibition applies Similarly, if two people speak a language different from the third of a group of three, the prohibition also applies.

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