Marital Life

Good Expectations of Allah While Facing Difficulties in Life


I feel very disappointed right now. In fact, my heart burns. I’ve been looking for a better half for four years, my marriage having not come to an eleventh hour four years ago. I thought it was for the best, because Allah, the Exalted, is planning something better for you. I also asked for the best half better in Mecca, where the supplications are not rejected. After four years, when I finally arranged my marriage and wanted to get married, I got information about the girl. Shaytan (the devil) created suspicions about the girl who had fornicated. For four years, I continued to implore a meritorious girl and to make all possible supplications, including “Allahumma Ajirni fi musibati …”. I also performed Istikharah (consultation prayer) before continuing. At this point, it is impossible to go back on my decision without concrete proofs, which is impossible to obtain, because only Allah, the Exalted, knows the facts and, more importantly, it would break many hearts. So I think I’ll let my heart burn instead of breaking so many hearts and dreams. However, I am very disappointed and wonder why Allah, the Exalted, put me in such a situation while I prayed continually to save me from such a scenario. I have never touched girls, so where is the call of Allah, the Exalted, who says that “for good men, I have made good women”.


May Allah make it easy for you. In your letter, I see some things that are part of the problem. You must understand the nature of this life, as Allah told us in the Qur’an. This life is a test, everyone is tested, whether with things we like or do not like. Allah, the Almighty, said: {Each soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as a trial, and to us you will be made.} [Quran 21:35]

Some people are tested with ease, they have the wealth, the health and everything they ask for. They can be Muslims or disbelievers, whatever, because they are all tested. If Allah tests you with what you see as difficult, you should be satisfied with Allah. You use all the means you have and in the end, you are satisfied with what Allah has decreed you, knowing that everything is there for a reason.

Your statements do not clearly indicate why you have suspicions about your future wife. If you do not have clear and concrete evidence, avoid these doubts and you will not burn your heart, because nothing justifies it at this time. If she is not religious and she is openly committing sins, avoid marrying her, even if you think it would break your hearts. Do what is good for you and your religion and do not be afraid to break anyone’s heart. One of the big mistakes people make is when they get married just because they feel bad for their partner. This causes difficulties later in life. Make your decision now before getting married, whether it’s a good choice for you or not; if you are not convinced to marry this girl, then do not betray her and stay away.

When we beg for business of this life, we do not know what is good for us. that’s why we pray to Istikharah and leave Allah. You must use all available means, ask the connoisseurs, be determined, then trust Allah, the Most High, for all your affairs.

Life is too short to be marred by worries and sadness. Look positively at everything you are going through and always focus on the end result, the afterlife. This is why the Qur’an always takes us to the afterlife to see the result of our actions, so that we make decisions accordingly. The real regret is the regret of the hereafter, and the real loss is the loss of the hereafter. So, my sincere advice is that you have good expectations in thinking of Allah, Most Merciful; He decrees only what is best for you if you know how to worship Allah accordingly, with patience and with gratitude. May Allah make it easy for you.


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