\u0625\u0650\u0646\u064e\u0651\u0627 \u0644\u0650\u0644\u0651\u0647\u0650 \u0648\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646\u064e\u0651\u0640\u0627 \u0625\u0650\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650 \u0631\u064e\u0627\u062c\u0650\u0639\u0648\u0646\u064e<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:156<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Does anyone you know are in mourning for a loss? Learn what to say and how to comfort someone through grief, sorrow and loss.
Young comforting woman<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
When someone who counts for you is grieving after a loss, it can be difficult to know what to say or what to do. Bereaved people struggle with many intense and painful emotions, including depression, anger, guilt and deep sadness. Often, they also feel isolated and alone in their grief because intense pain and difficult emotions can make people uncomfortable to offer support.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
You may be afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making your loved one feel worse during this difficult time. Or maybe you think you can do little to improve things. This is understandable. But do not let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone who is in mourning. Now more than ever, your loved one needs your support. You do not need to have answers, give advice, say and do the right things. The most important thing you can do for a person in mourning is just to be there. It is your support and attentive presence that will help your loved one to cope with the pain and gradually begin to heal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Keys to help a loved one grieving
Do not let the fears of saying or doing the wrong thing stop you from reaching out
Tell your loved one in mourning that you are here to listen<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Offer to help in a practical way
Maintain your support after burial
Helping a grieving person tip 1: understanding the grieving process
The better you understand grief and its healing, the better you will be able to help a bereaved friend or family member:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
There is no good or bad way to mourn. Grief does not always occur in orderly and predictable stages. It can be emotional roller coasters, with ups and downs and unpredictable setbacks. Everyone suffers differently, so avoid telling your loved one what he should or should feel.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Grief can involve extreme emotions and behaviors. Feelings of guilt, anger, hopelessness and fear are common. A person in mourning can cry out in heaven, be obsessed with death, blame their loved ones or cry for hours. Your loved one needs to be reassured that what he thinks is normal. Do not judge them and do not take their grief reactions personally.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
There is no fixed schedule for bereavement. For many people, recovery after death lasts between 18 and 24 months, but for others, the process of mourning can be longer or shorter. Do not force your loved one to move on and do not give him the feeling of suffering for too long. This can actually slow down the healing process.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
While many of us worry about what to say to a grieving person, it\u2019s actually more important to\u00a0listen<\/em>. Oftentimes, well-meaning people avoid talking about the death or change the subject when the deceased person is mentioned. Or, knowing there\u2019s nothing they can say to make it better, they try to avoid the grieving person altogether.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n But the bereaved need to feel that their loss is acknowledged, it\u2019s not too terrible to talk about, and their loved one won\u2019t be forgotten. One day they may want to cry on your shoulder, on another day they may want to vent, or sit in silence, or share memories. By being present and listening compassionately, you can take your cues from the grieving person. Simply being there and listening to them can be a huge source of comfort and healing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n While you should never try to force someone to open up, it\u2019s important to let your grieving friend or loved one know that you\u2019re there to listen if they want to talk about their loss. Talk candidly about the person who died and don\u2019t steer away from the subject if the deceased\u2019s name comes up. And when it seems appropriate, ask sensitive questions\u2014without being nosy\u2014that invite the grieving person to openly express their feelings. By simply asking, \u201cDo you feel like talking?\u201d you\u2019re letting your loved one know that you\u2019re available to listen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n You can also:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Acknowledge the situation.<\/strong>\u00a0For example, you could say something as simple as: \u201cI heard that your father died.\u201d By using the word \u201cdied\u201d you\u2019ll show that you\u2019re more open to talk about how the grieving person really feels.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Express your concern.<\/strong>\u00a0For example: \u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that this happened to you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Let the bereaved talk about how their loved one died.<\/strong>\u00a0People who are grieving may need to tell the story over and over again, sometimes in minute detail. Be patient. Repeating the story is a way of processing and accepting the death. With each retelling, the pain lessens. By listening patiently and compassionately, you\u2019re helping your loved one heal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Ask how your loved one feels.<\/strong>\u00a0The emotions of grief can change rapidly so don\u2019t assume you know how the bereaved person feels at any given time. If you\u2019ve gone through a similar loss, share your own experience if you think it would help. Remember, though, that grief is an intensely individual experience. No two people experience it exactly the same way, so don\u2019t claim to \u201cknow\u201d what the person is feeling or compare your grief to theirs. Again, put the emphasis on listening instead, and ask your loved one to tell you how\u00a0they\u2019re<\/em>\u00a0feeling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Accept your loved one\u2019s feelings.<\/strong>\u00a0Let the grieving person know that it\u2019s okay to cry in front of you, to get angry, or to break down. Don\u2019t try to reason with them over how they should or shouldn\u2019t feel. Grief is a highly emotional experience, so the bereaved need to feel free to express their feelings\u2014no matter how irrational\u2014without fear of judgment, argument, or criticism.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Be genuine in your communication.<\/strong>\u00a0Don\u2019t try to minimize their loss, provide simplistic solutions, or offer unsolicited advice. It\u2019s far better to just listen to your loved one or simply admit: \u201cI\u2019m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Be willing to sit in silence.<\/strong>\u00a0Don\u2019t press if the grieving person doesn\u2019t feel like talking. Often, comfort for them comes from simply being in your company. If you can\u2019t think of something to say, just offer eye contact, a squeeze of the hand, or a reassuring hug.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Offer your support.<\/strong>\u00a0Ask what you can do for the grieving person. Offer to help with a specific task, such as helping with funeral arrangements, or just be there to hang out with or as a shoulder to cry on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cIt\u2019s part of God\u2019s plan.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>This phrase can make people angry and they often respond with, \u201cWhat plan? Nobody told me about any plan.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cLook at what you have to be thankful for.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0They know they have things to be thankful for, but right now they are not important.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHe\u2019s in a better place now.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cThis is behind you now; it\u2019s time to get on with your life.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0Sometimes the bereaved are resistant to getting on with because they feel this means \u201cforgetting\u201d their loved one. Besides, moving on is much easier said than done. Grief has a mind of its own and works at its own pace.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Statements beginning with “You should” or “You will do it”. These statements are too directive. Instead, you can start your comments with: “Have you thought about \u2026” or “You could try \u2026”<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Source: American Hospice Foundation<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Tip 3: Offer practical assistanceHow to talk\u2014and listen\u2014to someone who\u2019s grieving<\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Things to avoid saying to someone who\u2019s grieving<\/h4>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
It is difficult for many mourners to ask for help. They may feel guilty of receiving so much attention, fearing to be a burden to others, or simply being too depressed to reach out. A person in mourning may not have the energy or motivation to call you when they need something, so instead of saying “Let me know if I have something to do”, make it easy by making specific suggestions. You could say, “I’m going to the market this afternoon. What can I bring you from there? “Or” I prepared a beef stew for dinner. When can I bring you some?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n