The reason why is dating haram? Love is the involuntary attraction of the heart towards the beloved of the opposite sex for reasons that may differ from one person to another, and love may accompany kinds of wishes, hopes and perceptions.
Islam is a religion of love, tolerance and peace, it cannot be an enemy of love, rather it is an instinct that God has made us – the Almighty – for the religion in itself is love and in order to believe in God and worship Him, you must love Him, otherwise you are a Muslim, but every action in Islam has conditions, not just Control is most likely to mean this, but in order to avoid all parties from any harm. Even love, if it does not follow well-established rules of safety and security, turns into something that God hates, and these are signs of God’s love for His servants and His fear for them. In this article, we learn about the status and conditions of love in Islam.
The legal ruling of Dating
- Islam does not contradict love and does not absolutely forbid it, rather it sanctifies, respects and rewards it for it if it is true love characterized by the legal qualities that Islamic Sharia called for, because love in its reality is an instinctive and innate matter and one of the important signs of God, God made it The Mighty and Majestic between the two sexes is a reason for the continuation of the human race, its stability and comfort, and the fulfillment of its needs, and the lifting of the shortage and deprivation of the two sexes through the attachment of each to the other, but by legitimate means and within the legal frameworks, God Almighty and Majestic said: (وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ).,
- If the love is sincere, emanating from the heart and with sound and legitimate goals, in order to reach a legitimate marriage, then this type of love is permissible and there is no problem in it if it stops at this point, as long as it does not go beyond forbidden looking or touching, or forbidden conversations.
- And perhaps it is correct that this kind of love – free of forbidden – has no credibility in the external reality – before the marriage contract – except rarely, because most of what happens between the sexes in the present era is not like this, rather it is a semi-integrated sexual relationship filled with fascination Excitement and forbidden lust whose consequences are slipping into the abyss of vice and corruption, and it is clear that this kind of love is forbidden and must be avoided.
The reason why is dating haram?
- What takes place of the conversation between the fiancé and his fiancée during the courtship period – before the legal contract of marriage is concluded – should not go beyond the limits of permissible conversation between a man and a woman who are not forbidden, since the fiancés, unless the legal marriage contract is concluded between them, its ruling from the legal point of view is the ruling Before the engagement, and the engagement does not happen anything, they should avoid sexually arousing words such as courtship and love words.
- Then what prevents the legal and official marriage from taking place between the two betrothed from the first hours of agreeing on the betrothal – and delaying the marriage by agreement between them until preparations are made for it – so that young men and girls do not fall into the forbidden.
The rule of crosstalk between the men and women
- Conversation is permissible if the conversation between them is a normal one devoid of flirtation, love and sex.
- So it is permissible to have scientific, commercial or knowledge conversations free of love and sex, so long as the person does not fear that he will be drawn into forbidden love conversations.
Conditions of love in Islam
Love in Islam is not forbidden by Sharia, according to the words of His Messenger, God, but it has conditions and controls, which are what the Holy Prophet – may God’s prayers and peace be upon him – summed up when he said: “لا أرى للمتحابين غير الزواج” and “marriage” is marriage, meaning everyone who feels love towards a woman foreigner must marry her.
- The first condition is not to violate the law of God, which was confirmed by the Prophet in his saying: ” لأن يطعن في رأس أحدكم بمخيط من حديد خير له من أن يمس امرأة لا تحل له ” .
- As for the second, that the love of the servant does not distract you from the love of the Creator of the servant, so it does not deter you from worship and remembrance of God.
- Likewise, his love must remain concealed, and he does not mention the beloved with anyone and does not expose her to her.
- The lover must also be one who has a strong will and curbs his emotions. The Sheikh of Islam Ibn al-Qayyim says in this regard: “Love is the chaste speech of a gentle man whose religion and love for God prevents him from violating his laws and commands.”
- And the lover must not take methods that are not legitimate in order to reach his beloved, such as magic, which of course is considered polytheism with God.
- And that the love for God and in God has no interests or personal gains.
- And that love does not turn to sins and abominations, but rather resorts to the law of God.
- Likewise, Islamic thinkers say that no one can control the heart’s love, but it must be within a legal framework that preserves the woman’s dignity, such as if he proposes to her and if he does not do so, then he must cut off all ties with her, and in the event that the two lovers come close in a physical way in a non-legal relationship, then it is audacity On the orders of God and a clear violation of Islamic law.
The forbidden kind of love
- Love is the law of life and religion, and the inclination of a man to a woman and a woman to a man is a natural matter, so they are a fitnah for each other. It is exposed to them and this is the forbidden part of love, and God has mentioned it in many verses:
- God has forbidden a man and a woman to look at each other for a long time, as he said: ” قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ”
- The Qur’an also drew attention to the necessity of not attacking, neither by tongue nor by looking, nor in any way, a woman who is a stranger to a Muslim, as he, peace and blessings be upon him, said: ” إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ عَلَى ابْنِ آدَمَ حَظَّهُ مِنْ الزِّنَا ، أَدْرَكَ ذَلِكَ لَا مَحَالَةَ ، فَزِنَا الْعَيْنِ النَّظَرُ، وَزِنَا اللِّسَانِ الْمَنْطِقُ ، وَالنَّفْسُ تَمَنَّى وَتَشْتَهِي ، وَالْفَرْجُ يُصَدِّقُ ذَلِكَ أَوْ يُكَذِّبُهُ ” .
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