Dua When You Fail Or Lose At Something In Arabic
قَدَّرَ اللهُ وَما شـاءَ فَعَـلَ
Dua When You Fail Or Lose At Something In English Transcription
Qadarullaahu wa maa shaa’afa’ala
Dua When You Fail Or Lose At Something In English
It is the Decree of Allah and He does whatever He wills.
Ibn Majah: 4168
That’s what happens to your brain when you fail (and how to fix it)
Caroline Beaton
Carolina
That’s what happens to your brain when you fail (and how to fix it)
Caroline Beaton
Carolina
Four months after graduating from the top of my class, I failed. I moved to Vancouver to be with my boyfriend and travel somewhere. I tried to be Lululemon’s Senior Marketing Manager, but it did not work. So I found myself a legal secretary, a job that was unsatisfactory for me and unrelated to my passions.
It got worse. I struggled to avoid my situation and applied to several leading doctoral programs. I had none. I was so promising.
After nine months in Canada, I went home and broke up with my seven-year relationship.
Nietzsche has claimed – now a cliché – that what does not kill you makes you stronger. And this year has been fruitful: if I had not lived it, I could not sympathize with my millennial readers; I might not even have started writing for them. But overall, it’s a failure on all fronts. My wet year in Vancouver was the epitome of when it rains, it rains.
I have since learned that I was not alone. In fact, not only is this kind of spiral failure common, it is biological.
When animals, whether they are tadpoles or humans, gain something, their brains release testosterone and dopamine. With time and repetition, this signal transforms the structure and chemical configuration of the brain to make performing animals smarter, better trained, more confident and more likely to succeed in the future. Biologists call this the Winner effect.
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The losing effect, which has not yet been named, is also cyclical: unlike Nietzsche’s saying, what does not kill you often weakens you. In one study, monkeys who made a mistake in a trial – even after controlling the task in the same way as other monkeys – did worse than monkeys who did not make mistakes. “In other words,” says Scientific American, they have been “shaken by mistakes instead of learning from them.” Some research also suggests that failure can hinder concentration, sabotaging future performance. The students arbitrarily said that they had failed compared to their classmates and then showed a poorer reading comprehension.
Finally, when we fail once, we are more likely to fail again with the same goal – and sometimes more catastrophically. In one study, pizza-fed dieters who felt they had “ruined” their daily dietary goals ate 50% more biscuits immediately after those who were not at all. Once we do not reach our goals once, our brain says “Abandon ship!
This spiral explains why a failure can seem to put many others in motion. Unfortunately, after failing, we often do exactly the wrong thing, thus perpetuating our failure. The next time you do not meet your expectations, avoid these three instinctive reactions to preserve your progress:
Do not dwell on it
We are told to learn from our failures, so we take care of it. But many studies show that worry, anxiety, and focusing on failure are the main sources of performance degradation. According to neurologist Judy Willis, the failure of internalization makes us less effective at solving problems,
As you internalize your frustrated efforts to achieve your goals and interpret them as a personal failure, self-doubt and stress activate and reinforce the networks of reactive and involuntary neurons in your brain. As these circuits become automatic networks, the brain is less successful at solving problems and controlling emotions.
In the long run, stress can literally “kill brain cells” and “erode higher brain networks, preventing you from succeeding,” writes Don Goewey, author of The End of Stress, 4 steps to reconfigure your brain.
Instead, reframe and reinvent your failure: according to research, you can “delete” previous chess by visualizing them smaller and smaller and less bright or infusing them with fun or improbable details. Whenever we remember something, we change their memory. By combining your failure with something lighter, you can mitigate its harmful effects on your brain and improve subsequent performance.
In short, resist your failure once you have extracted the necessary lessons. Choose optimism: research shows that when people work in a positive state of mind, performance improves in almost every area. Happiness researcher Shawn Achor says, “I could focus on the failure before me or spend the resources of my brain to deal with the two new opportunities that come up. One reality leads to paralysis, the other to positive change. “
Do not wing it.
When we fail, we are sometimes tempted – and even encouraged – to say, “Fuck it!” We pursue blindly on a new path, determined to succeed but without direction. This attitude echoes “Make the jump!”, A mantra to overcome the fear of failure. But, in reality, the most successful people plan their failure. This does not mean that they plan to fail; it means that they carefully chart and predict the results of their goals. They have backups in case of failure. Without a plan, our brains generally choose the path of least resistance and the simplest possible results – which often oppose our long-term goals.
Instead, set very specific and ambitious goals: a comprehensive review found that in 90% of the studies, specific and ambitious goals yielded higher performance than simple, unclear goals. One study found that even defining the “where” and “when” parameters of a task increases the chances of carrying it out.
Research also indicates that planning for failure (for example, “in the case of an emergency …”) helps people stay on task in case of difficulty. One way to build a backup plan into your goals is to anticipate that your future self will not want to fill them because of procrastination, laziness, a lack of self-control or any combination of behaviors. self-sabotage. Author Kevin Kruse explains, “Our future self is the enemy of our best.” For example, if I wanted to write two hours each morning before being sucked into emails, Twitter, etc., I could disconnect my computer wifi. the night before. Then tomorrow’s me will not be distracted by a million notifications as soon as I open my computer.
Do not threaten yourself
After failing, we never want to fail again, especially when it comes to failure. As a result, we sometimes set subconscious goals such as “Do it right or you’ll finish like last time.” This is what psychologists call the motivation of “avoidance” or “prevention”. But research shows that avoidance motivation tends to cause anxiety for fear of a potential negative outcome, which is detrimental to performance. This connection explains why athletes motivated by avoidance are more likely to choke under pressure.
Instead, set positive goals and celebrate small progress: more effective than avoiding is the opposite: an “approach” or “promotion” motivation. When you are determined to do something, remember that we are more motivated by specific positive goals than by vague and threatening goals (for example, “I want to write a bestselling book that gives millennials a new sense of purpose”. urgency and personal power in their career “No” I want to make a name for myself not to die without recognition “).
Acknowledging your progress, no matter how small, does two things: first, it extends the enjoyment of our accomplishments, and second, it increases our motivation. Our brain is accelerating as we see success coming closer; rats run faster at the end of the labyrinth and marathoners accelerate after 26.1 miles in “point X”. One study calls this the “big goal” effect: as we get closer to our goals, motivation and performance increase. . Measuring and celebrating our progress can help us capitalize on this acceleration.
Failure is inevitable. The way we progress after failure determines whether the failure becomes a biologically rooted habit or a spotted memory. What will you choose?
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